The Droid Princess
by Airys
Summary: A Star Wars version of the Frog Princess.


Disclaimer: This isn't a serious story - it's a fairy tale, and it doesn't adhere to any specific timeline in the Star Wars EU. Pretty much all it involves is some fun

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a handsome Jedi prince named Luke. One day, as he was practicing with his lightsabre, he stumbled  
upon a cave. As all good Jedi princes do, he decided to investigate. (Besides, if he didn't, we wouldn't have much of a story, would we?)

"Hmm," Luke said to himself, "I think I see something further ahead."

Walking deeper into the cave, he discovered that 'something' was in fact a pool of water. As he cautiously stepped nearer to the pool, hoping to find something useful,  
like, say, a Holocron or something, twin orbs of light suddenly appeared close by.

"Nooooo," Luke yelled, as he dropped his lightsabre into the pool.

He watched as it sank deeper and deeper in the water.

"Rats," he said.

"So sorry, sir," the newly revealed protocol droid said. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh no, that's fine." Luke said. "I'll just go and whip up a new one. Oh wait - I can't! It was my father's."

With that, the Jedi prince began to sob uncontrollably.

"Excuse me, sir, but you're whining," The droid said.

Luke dried his tears with the cuff of his robe. "You're right," he said. "What is your designation?"

"MJ1138," the droid said, "but you may call me 'M'."

"Ok, M, how do you think we can get my lightsabre out of that well?"

"Well, sir, I suppose I could jump in. I'd sink rather nicely."

Luke raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I suppose that would work. But then how would I get you out of there?"

"Oh, a caring human, how nice," M said with a trace of sarcasm in its tone.

"Wow, that's pretty good for a droid," Luke said.

Then, with some suspicion, he asked, "What kind of a designation is MJ1138 for a protocol droid, anyway?"

"I'll tell you later," M said, "only if you promise to take me home and feed me."

"Feed you?" Luke asked incredulously. "You're a droid!"

"No matter," M said, and climbed up onto the stone ledge ringing the pool, then stepped off into the water.

"Hmm," said Luke, "it does sink rather well."

He watched as the droid dropped lower, until all he could see was a speck.

"Deep well," he said, then chuckled to himself.

After about an hour or so, Luke was almost ready to leave and forget the whole thing. He leaned over to look into the water one last time, and noticed  
that the droid seemed a lot closer than it had before. (No, he's not near-sighted) In fact, in the few seconds since he'd been looking, he could see the  
polished metal head growing quite rapidly. He backed away from the well slowly, something tingling at the back of his mind. Just what sort of droid was this?  
(I know, but I'll never tell. evil laugh Okay, so maybe at the end...or somewhere around there.)

M's head broke the water.

"Hello there," it said.

"Uh, hi," Luke said, catching a glimpse of his lightsabre gripped rather firmly in the droid's right hand.

Once M had lifted itself entirely out of the well, it turned slightly to face Luke.

"Hey," Luke said, "you've just been underwater for quite awhile. Aren't you feeling a little stiff?"

"I'm a protocol droid, not a simple robot."

"Oh. What happened to sir? I liked it when you called me sir," Luke said.

"I'll show you what happened to sir, you...you...farmboy!" M said.

With that, M ignited the lightsabre and rushed Luke, servos churning.

"Eek," said Luke.

The droid stopped short.

"Eek? I'm about to kill you and all you can say is 'eek'?"

"Well, you know, I'm running low on profound lines at the moment," Luke said.

"All right," M said, and resumed its forward motion.

Luke did what every good Jedi does when faced with a lightsabre-armed protocol droid (and a rude one, at that)...he ran for home.

Luke was just finishing his bantha stew and about to start on some of Yoda's dinner when a knock was heard at the door.

"Let me in."

Yoda, who was munching on some sort of leafy vegetable, looked up.

"Hello," he said.

Luke looked at his mentor in surprise.

"You mean you could speak in full sentences all along, and you didn't bother to tell me?"

"One word, it was. Ask you did not," Yoda said.

"Oh, right," Luke said. "Anyway, I don't know who's at the door." He looked toward the door again. "Who's at the door?"

"It is I, M," came the response.

Luke's face turned quite red, and he quickly told Yoda the story of how he had quasi-promised to feed the droid if it was able to bring his  
lightsabre back from its watery grave.

"Mm," Yoda grunted. "Let it in, you must. Your destiny, it is."

"My destiny?" Luke asked in astonishment. "That droid tried to kill me!"

"Let the droid in, you will."

Luke got up from where he was sitting and crossed the room to the small door. After letting M in, he quickly backed to the far side of the room.  
The droid then began to sit at the table. A valiant attempt, to say the least, but all that M accomplished with that was to end up flat on its back on the floor.

"Help M up, you will," Yoda said.

"Yes, sir," Luke said, and proceeded to pull a muscle by aiding the droid to sit upright.

Yoda ladled a bowl of stew for M, and Luke stared as it gulped it down.

"Oh, I've been so hungry. I even missed bantha," M said.

"You...missed it?"

"Yes, I've not always been a droid, you know."

"You mean you were a moisture evaporator brain before?"

"I can see why the Emperor wants you dead. You're very annoying. However, I have managed to overcome my programming...I no longer want to kill you," M said.

"Well, that's comforting. Who's to say that you won't pull out my lightsabre and..."

The droid pulled the lightsabre out from somewhere (Okay, so I can't think of a good place to hide a lightsabre) and held it out.

Luke gingerly put a hand on the handle and then snatched the device up.

"I used to be the Emperor's Hand, you know. That is, until he decided that I'd do a better job if I were to wait here on the planet for you to show up.  
Something about a vision of the future or something," the droid said. "So kiss me, already."

"Kiss you?"

"Kiss her, you will," Yoda said.

Luke frowned. "I'm getting awfully tired of being told to do things with no good explanation. Besides, how do you know it's a she?"

"Know, I do," Yoda said.

M stepped foreward. "Kiss me."

"If I do, will you leave me alone?" Luke asked.

"Perhaps."

"I guess that's going to have to be good enough," Luke said.

He held his lightsabre behind his back with one hand, then stepped forward and kissed the droid.

Instantly, a glow appeared to envelop M, and Luke jumped backward.

When the glow had faded, a beautiful redhead stood where the droid had been mere seconds before.

Luke's jaw dropped. "Wow, you're...you're..."

"Mara Jade," the woman said. She looked at Yoda. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Getting to it, I was," Yoda said.

So it was that Mara Jade and Luke Skywalker met, were married (eventually), and lived happily ever after...well, at least, for the forseeable future.

THE END


End file.
